Resistance in Counseling is Like a Shield Against an Antidote

When seeking help, offered help, or help is suggested and resistance arises instead of your hand to reach the one that is being extended to you that’s a sign that help is needed.

Here are some common client responses that communicate resistance:

  • “I don’t need help. I only came because my wife [or husband, dating partner, or whoever] brought me here.”
  • “She [or he] is the problem! Fix her, not me.”
  • “I don’t [or am not sure I can] trust you.”
  • “Are you a born-again [or committed or Spirit-filled] Christian?”
  • “You can’t help me. You haven been through what I have.”
  • “Your life is perfect.” “Your kids don’t get in trouble like mine.”
  • “I don’t believe in counseling.”
  • “This must be done my -[or God’s] way or I don’t do it.”
  • “I need to pray about it first.”
  • “I can see I need some help, in some areas, but not everything you’re saying.”
  • “But I’ve already done that and it doesn’t work.”
  • “Nothing is going to work.”
  • “This is too hard.”
  • “I don’t know what I want from this.” (Some are from the AACC—some are from me)

When resistance becomes a shield in the place where openness should be present, as a counselor we need to use that as an opportunity to come in and use new techniques that will help the client grow into the person they were created to be which is the ultimate goal. Timothy Clinton and George Ohlschlager say in their Competent Christian Counseling book that “Resistance is an endemic to counseling and helping relationships.” So when we become resistant to receiving help we are protecting the disease instead of allowing the antidote to cure it.

If you notice you’re being resistance instead of accepting the help that is being offered to you I exhort you to be open put down the shield, hold that hand that is extended waiting for you and climb the later that will take you to your God given destiny.

  1. Biology is not a destiny.
  2. This culture and society does not need to shape you and will not determine your character.
  3. You don’t need to blame your genetics anymore you have your own identity and you can become whatever you want!
  4. You can discover your own God-fulfilled prophecy.
  5. You don’t need to pretend to be extreme self-sufficient anymore you can lean on to someone else and THAT IS OKAY and HEALTHY!

Let’s go! Today is the day, can you say you’re ready to give this a try? To give it a good shot of faith? I mean we work by faith believing we’ll get a pay check but without any assurance of it huh… yeah it takes conviction to do a lot of things in life after all.

I think we can all do a little more for ourselves than work for someone else hoping they won’t bail out disappear and not pay us ok pay day—things happen! Miracles happen too my dear!

#ibelieve do you believe in yourself? I believe you can anything that you set your heart out to do!

As always with your best interest at heart!

Your friend, coach, mentor, sister, listener and prayer warrior;

—Denise Kilby #letsconnect contact me below without fear!

Published by Denise Kilby

Along the path of my life I have focused on growing as an individual, studying and learning on how to help others and expanding my view of life. I studied Criminal Psychology and Christian Counseling concentrating in marriage and Family Relations at Liberty University Online. I am a Fibromyalgia Fighter who has focused on living the best that I can every day of my life, my goal is to inspired others to live their lives to their fullest God given potential. In life we are given one body, one brain, and one flesh- with many muscles and we can't concentrate in the ones that hurt and don't work on one single day, we have to think on how we can make them stronger with the ones that do operate well. Staying focus and moving while we can is my key to happiness, pausing when my heart tells me to and thinking outside my head to maintain a healthy spiritual, mental, and fitness balance that brings me peace & provides physical healing. I am a mother of three blessings; 2 boys and a girl, wife, and daughter of God, passionate about people and the way the brain works. Who is always looking for ways to make life easier and helping individuals see the truth that lies within them, I know there’s more for everyone, and that we are far more than whatever our current circumstances may be, remembering that they might determine our situations but don't predict our future. I enjoy working with people and assisting individuals in many different areas, whatever it takes to make someone’s life better and meeting their professional needs. “Go as high as you can, there’s a world that needs your help” - Denise Kilby

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